Piano Sanctuary Mixed in with Spiritual Reflection

Hi!

I thought I would switch things up a bit. I am recently learning a new song on the piano, and reading a very interesting book, so I felt why not make my next few blog posts about that? Now I may still keep a few things random, but I think blogging about my progress with the song and the book, will keep me motivated to keep going at both :)

Many of you that know me know my musical tastes have been primarily rooted within country music. Recently, I have been branching out and exploring other music, and have with the help of a dear friend been listening to a lot more folk/bluegrass/alternative/soul/blues and jazz oriented music. I have become increasingly intrigued by the music of Adele, Norah Jones, Elenowen, Elizabeth and the Catapult, Joshua James, Julie Peel, Laura Jansen and many more. (On a side very random note, I hope Casey Abrams and Haley Reinhart from this past season of American Idol, who should have won, stay true to their raspy souly feels and make records).

There is one artist who I cannot stop listening to and that is Regina Spektor.Her music, her voice, her lyricism is "spektakular". I feel that she pushes the boundaries with her words, sings notes that I never knew existed, yet still remains to keep that calm ominous, yet very swank presence within her music. A key highlight in most of her pieces is the piano. So I felt why not see if there is any piano sheet music I can get my hands on and try to play. I found "Samson". The piece is rooted in the Biblical story of Samson, but is focused on a love affair. It pushes the story line, to the point where it could be deemed a tad scandalous by Christian groups. But I love it, and feel that it is quite beautifully erotic and I deem it to be quite modernizing. Furthermore, the song could be interpreted from so many different angles. At the least I think we can all relate to having our "sweet downfall" whether it be a lover, a weakness, or a quiet desire...

So I am looking at these notes, I see the five sharps in the key and automatically I exit from my browser in search for other notes, simpler songs. But then I come back. Why cannot I at least try to learn it? Sure the piece is not easy, but have I lost faith in what I could learn? So without thinking anymore I print out the sheets, and sit at my piano, take a sip of coffee, write down the sharps to look for and I try to play the first page, primarily with my right hand... I wish I could say "it was beautiful, easier than I thought" but it was not. Far from it, however I went back, added my left hand, and continued to chop away. I still chop away, and it still sounds horrible but I am attacking it, this piece will not be my "sweetest downfall". So I made a commitment to this song, to these notes, five sharps and all and I will not move on to the second page until I feel secure and comfortable with the first page of notes. I think I can do it! I think I can! I think I can! And guess what? I will share my progress! (and you WILL love it).

The other thing I want to blog about is about a book my former professor wrote: "Spiritual But not Religious? An Oar Stroke Closer to the Farther Shore" I was drawn to this book primarily because I wanted to learn some of my professor's earlier thinking on religion since he has been instrumental in how I shaped my belief system. Also the title intrigued me, as I describe myself as being spiritual but not religious. I was quite sure that he would argue against this statement, and I wanted to be challenged. I am not considering this to be a formal book review but rather a step by step personal reflection on the words that make footsteps on my soul. Now Reid (the prof) is marvellous when it comes to comparative theology, particularly between Hinduism and Christianity. Therefore, I was not surprised that he began with ideas of Hindu incarnation as ideas that the Christian mind grapples as very familiar. Very quickly my thoughts were confirmed, my dear professor does deem the statement spiritual but not religious to be an oxymoron. And very early on in his introductory chapter he lists reasons of why people would not consider themselves religious because they do not want to become tied with an institutionalized notion of God. Many forms of institutions come with a very slippery fellowship, we see this in government. Take Canada for example, especially in light of the new elections. A majority of us love the idea of democracy, but it is hard to pick someone to vote for because at least for myself, I cannot agree one hundred percent to the political platform of any one party. Even those, who are quite committed to one party, I challenge cannot be behind their parties completely. It comes down to what is the issue that I am primarily passionate about, and how do the parties relate, or which political platform can I support the most, or how much confidence can I place in the leadership role of the party head? Anyways, here Reid is mentioning the reasons why various individuals are drawn away from institutions based on personal experiences that are challenged by the religion in question. And I am struck at the familiarity. Why do I still consider myself Catholic, is it my naivety in the possibility of the church truly being one day catholic with a small "c"; universal, and for all.  I mean in so many ways the teachings of the Church drastically differ from my own, then why do I still love to worship within it? I am not sure I can answer that question fully and honestly. But I want to. I agree with Reid, "the question of institutional commitment is - like religious institutions themselves- tangled, complicated and often messy". Thanks Reid. My commitment is messy to a messy Church? Yes it is. (Side note: when I write Church with capitol "C" I am referring to the Roman Catholic Church, church on the other hand I refer to as any other worshiping body of people). So I think the beginning of my answer comes from this messiness. At the beginning, we are seekers and I am a seeker, maybe I always will be in search of this "authentic desire for a truth that will set [me] free".

So there it is! I invite you to take a personal journey with me in this reflection. Why? Because I need the support. Especially since I know those of you reading this, are close friends of mine. So please support me, and challenge me :) That is why I love you because you accept this quirkiness. So bear with me! And hey I may just throw in some more random blogs just for fun and comic relief!

Something Inspirational :)

I heard a very inspirational true story today and I thought I would share :)

There was a lady who was pregnant who went in to have some tests done. Once the results were in the doctors warned her that there would be complications with her baby. As they predicted the little girl was born premature and she was paralyzed from the waist down. The doctors wondered if she would have any brain complications. As it turned out she was a very smart girl, but she was confined to a wheelchair. She did not let that bring her down. When she was eight she got her neighbours together to help her surprise her parents on their wedding anniversary. She was a very caring soul. One day a lady seeing her said,"oh how unfortunate that you are sick" and the little girl replied, "mam last week I had a bit of a cold, but that’s over now, so I am very healthy".
One day she was crossing the street with her mother when an unexpected car ran into them. Only one ambulance came to the scene. She told the paramedic, "please take my mom she needs the medical attention really fast or she will die". Assessing the situation the paramedics took the mother to the hospital, and the little girl, although she fought for her life, unfortunately was not able to pull through.
During her funeral many letters were read from many different countries, because as it turns out this little girl had a heart of gold and was devoted to being an advocate for little children who could not help themselves. Whether it was selling balloons for kids in an orphanage in Spain, or writing letters to children in hospitals in Portugal, she always wanted to be of some comfort to other children.
While she was alive one person commented on how sad it was that she was not able to dance, and she just replied, "I have the best chariot anyone can ask for, one day in heaven I will dance, but till then I have the best set of wheels".

I apologize my retelling skills are not that great, but this story seemed worth passing on. I have taken many things from it. But it is children like this little girl that are such an inspiration to me. Children in general are so beautiful, but I find it is the most glorious thing when those children, or even people in general who seem to us, to be so different and "unfortunate" are in fact so far ahead of us all. I believe that things for this little girl were not all rosy, and I am sure she had low moments. But her perservance and optimism is extremely amazing. In essence maybe the "limitations" that we  feel that we have are in fact gifts that we can use.

Goodbyes

Sometimes what it takes is a goodbye.

Sometimes what it takes is to just close a door and move ahead. There comes a point where there can be no more talking, where there cannot be more manipulation, where there can be no more hope in what was, and what could be. But there must be a plan and a goal for the future that is separated from what one’s original thought processes were.

Initially it is difficult. But sometimes it has to start with a goodbye.

I have been reflecting a lot on how people say goodbye. Some goodbyes are harder than others. Everyone deals with them differently. They are also harder or easier to deal with based on if the goodbye comes from you or from someone else. Both are very difficult. But if you are the one that is struck with a sudden goodbye from another in whatever form that is the hardest to get over, because you were not able to prepare yourself for what was to come. But you need to move, you need to try your hardest to get past it. Because a goodbye when it is given, it is what it is... it means that something has come to an end and no matter what happens next, something will not be the same.

If you are the one receiving the goodbye, do whatever you can in your power to get over the emotions that come with it. Whether you resort to hate, anger to get over the sadness, your goal needs to be happiness. Do what you must but do not beg, and do not hold onto that glimmer of hope. Deal with what is, because if you hold on to the hope of the past returning, you have a greater chance of disappointment. In this way you are not in expectation but moving on to greater and better things. Easier written than done.

But at least try.

Winter and SNOW

Many people you talk to dislike winter, dislike the snow, and they vacation in winter months to run away and be in a warm climate for a week or two. I on the other hand quite love winter. I especially love winter when there is snow, snow, snow! Now I will not deny that snow can become a nuisance, it can hinder our driving, screw around with our schedules, making us late or making it impossible to cram everything we can do when it is not snowing. But why not slow down, why not allow us to take things a bit easy? We got to give ourselves more time to get ready, but we can get so creative... what scarf we put on, what hat, what sweater, the different types of layers. I find so much comfort in that oversized sweater,that hot mug of tea looking out on that blanket of natures art.

Yesterday my fiance and I we took advantage of a day off, and decided to take a road trip to one of our favourite places. From the moment we drove in I felt enveloped into a whole different and serene world. We decided to go hiking in the snow, on the same trails that we took during the summer. It was unbelievable how wonderful everything was. We had to trudge through much snow, but the sites that we saw were unbelievable. It was so wonderful witnessing nature's art, the ice formation, the rushing waterfall, the snow on the trees. It was perfect..... When we were driving back home I realized how different it was back home than on that piece of land that was bearly untouched. 

Now some people would say, were you not cold? Sure, but isn't it great! That feeling of the wind on your cheeks... I say lets remain active, bundle up and go and enjoy ourselves! Go for a drive find a frozen pond and treat yourself to an ice skate. Find a hill and go for a tobogann drive! Just because it is snowy and cold, it does not mean that your activities should be limited! And that is what is so great about having four seasons! Each season comes with different opportunities. So why not challenge ourselves? Why not visit a favourite place every season and witness first hand the different feelings and experiences that it provides?

Don't get me wrong, I do not want it to snow twelve months a year, but why not let it snow for another good month? Spring time is not till another month. So fulll force ahead, let it snow snow snow!

Decisions and Choices... based on colour?

This entry really begins with something so trivial and odd, but something that has sparked a bit of a thought process.

I hope I do not offend anyone by where I start...

I think people can represent their personality using colours. For example, bold colours can represent very outgoing, and outspoken people, while lighter colours can represent serene personalities. Sometimes those colours can be people's favourite colours, or sometimes people like a colour because it is the opposite of their personality. But what if your favourite colours that represent you are ones you cannot wear, or try not to because they simply do not do you any justice? For example, my favourite colour is red, but you will rarely ever see me in that colour, because it simply does not look that good on me.

But then I was talking to somebody, and was surprised to learn what his favourite colours were, and I learnt that the colours that I would picture him in, based on his personality that I knew, were not included in his favourite colours to wear, simply because they clashed with how he looks.

This got me thinking about how much of this is really influenced by the choices and decisions we make in life. We can make a conscious decision not to wear a certain colour, based on our contemplations on what looks or does not look good on us. However, another individual may not come to that same decision or choice, because they may view things from a different perspective.

Those that know me will know that sometimes it is difficult for me to make a decision. Sometimes I wish that I could live out all the possibility so that I could then know which way was the best to go. But of course we cannot do that. It just seems so extreme and scary that making or not making a particular decision can completely alter your life path. This is very scary don't y'all think, how our lives can be so different based on our personal decisions?

Where is this all coming from? Recently I have had to make a lot of decisions, and will have to make even more. I am afraid that the choices I make may not lead me in the best pathway that I could have gone down...but then the great thing about all this is that I will never know which pathway would have been best!

Butter-me-up bucatini... capellinni...uhhh Rigatoni with Scallops!

Hello there!

I hope you all enjoy my blogging, about my quirky experiences!

This entry starts with a text message I sent to my fiancé’s sister's fiancé (got that? :p):

Me: "Helloe *** and I would like to invite you and ***** to dinner sunday come at 3 we eat at 4 ..."

Other party: "What are you cooking, can we bring something? "

Me: "Its a surprise but you can bring desert! Not the desert but dessert I rather like winter".

That is what I do, I tend to mix up my words. You know what my explanation is? Being bilingual and never fully learning one language completely! So I tend to make a fool out of myself with words. But this is not about my language deficiencies or is it?

Usually when I cook or bake, something does not go as planned. You must imagine how thrilled I was when everything was going well, and I even made sure the guests were on their way, when suddenly I looked at the pasta and realized that the pasta I had chosen was not for this dish. Now the recipe called for bucatini but I had bought capellinni just because it was on sale for 99cents. (Side note: I buy a lot of pasta if it is on sale below the dollar... its a great deal and I love pasta so  know that it will never go to waste...except for that one time I burned my future mother-in-law's pot... but that is another story).

So the guests arrive, and they apologize for being late, and what do I say? "It’s ok I screwed up the pasta!" So I decided to cook rigatoni pasta instead. Note to self capellinni is best suited for soup? Here I am thinking of my ethnic chicken noodle soup. Or if anyone knows for what else it is good for... let me know!